Let’s face it, parenting is never easy, and the best of parents can make mistakes at one time or another. While advice is good, some advice can do more harm than good. Here are some of the worst mistakes parents can make:
1.“Let Them Have Their Space”
Children need space sometimes, but it’s not good to leave them to their own devices too often to solve their own problems. Strike a balance by allowing them to try for a while, but be on hand to help when they need it.
2.“They Will Grow Out Of Inappropriate Behaviors”
Ignoring inappropriate behaviors such as hitting, biting, snatching toys, or destroying property is never good. Children need to be taught boundaries about acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. This teaches them to show respect for others and their property and helps reinforce positive, long-term relationships with others as they grow.
3.“Don’t Let Them Fail”
Failure is a part of life, and when parents constantly step in to try to quell their children’s disappointments they actually stymie their ability to build resilience and resolve when handling disappointments and setbacks.
4.“Your Child Can Never Do Anything Wrong”
This advice is very unwise. It teaches children that they don’t need to take responsibility for their actions, or that it is someone else’ fault when things go wrong.
5.“Make Your Children Hug And Kiss Friends, Family, And Other Adults”
Forcing your children to kiss and hug other adults can encourage children, especially girls to believe that people in authority can do things to them that they may not be comfortable with. This will open the floodgates for abuse.
It is better to discuss other appropriate ways to greet adults, like shaking hands or how to hug without too much physical contact. Ask them which action they may be more comfortable with.
6.“Praise Your Children All The Time”
It is natural for children to feel a sense of pride when you express praise when they have done something good. The danger arises, however, when it reaches the point where children expect to hear something “good” every time. While praise helps build their self-esteem and self-confidence, too much praise may lead them to expect to be “rewarded” for “good” deeds or to depend on others to make them feel good about themselves.
7.“Run And Fix All Their Problems”
While parents may need to step in to solve some potentially harmful situations, it may be wise to step back and give children a little time to take control of the situation to help build their self-confidence and self-control.
8.“Be Strict And Enforce The Rules”
Being too harsh and rigid can impact negatively on the relationship between you and your child. This may encourage children to be fearful about discussing issues, or they may hide behaviors they feel will lead to punishment.
9.“Let Them Learn From Their Own Mistakes”
Some parents may vacillate between being overly strict or overly permissive. Opting not to punish your children may seem like you’re being a good parent. Strive for a healthy balance and apply appropriate methods of punishment when warranted.
10.“Constantly Tell Them All The Time They Are Smart”
Constantly telling your kids they are smart may prove counterproductive. Studies show that “smart” kids expect to do well all the time and can become overly competitive. They may not be able to handle failure well.
11.“It’s Ok To Tell A Lie To Explain A Difficult Situation”
Lying to protect a child from a difficult situation or to get them to do something they don’t want to, will lay the foundation for future deviance in your child.
When parents lie, it teaches children that it is appropriate to lie their way out of difficult situations or to accomplish their goals when necessary.
12.“Don’t Expose Your Children To Germs”
Some parents may be overly obsessed with protecting their children from getting sick and may actually reduce the child’s chances of building a healthy immune system. Studies show that 99% of all germs are harmless.
13.“Be Your Child’s Best Friend”
One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make is to foster the belief that their child is their best friend. Children need appropriate guidance and structure as they grow into adults. Appropriate boundaries will encourage them to respect those in authority.
14.“Stay In A Bad Relationship To Keep The Family Together”
While it may be fine to seek to do what’s “best” for your children, staying in a toxic relationship may do more harm than good. Unhealthy relationships can set the blueprint for children to have the same kinds of relationships as adults.
15.“It’s Ok To Invade Their Privacy To Keep Them Safe”
While it may be appropriate to check up on your child’s social media in certain situations, constant checking and snooping around after them may teach them to be mistrustful of yourself and others.
16.“Avoid Conflict At All Costs”
This misconception will affect how your child deals with conflict. Create opportunities for your child to learn how to manage their emotions, handle conflict and find resolutions.
There is a myriad of voices with seemingly good solutions for raising our kids. Every situation is unique and “one size” may not necessarily fit all.