Raising a child could be the most wonderful role you’ll ever have to perform in your lifetime but, nobody said it was ever going to be easy. It will never be a walk in the park for mothers and fathers but, the rewards of building a positive connection with your child now can lead to rewarding fruits in the future. Ever heard about growing pains? Well, parenting teenagers is just the beginning. So, don’t lose the better side of you this early. It’s never too late to learn good parenting skills for you to better deal with teenage attitude problems.
How to deal with your child’s negative attitude more effectively
Teenage girls and boys these days will either ignore you, throw a smirk at you or, answer back. Getting this bad attitude can overwhelm your emotions and it’s enough to send your blood pressure soaring high and your pulse raging. It can’t be bound to get worse, can it? How you dictate your authority and foster your relationship with your child right now can make a world of difference in disciplining a disrespectful teenager. Shouting back at every ill manner isn’t going to help your situation but, keeping a cool head will.
Other than that, listed below are 7 other tips on how to deal with an angry teenager that you can use to win back your rebellious teenager from so much rage:
1. Don’t try to turn your child into something he’s not.
As parents, you’ve kept your hopes and dreams high for your child all these years. It can be very frustrating on your part to witness how far your child may have veered away from the direction that you want him or her to pursue — the same direction that he or she wanted for herself not so long ago too.
But, the teen years is also a time of making great discoveries. You have to accept that you child may be interested in other things right now. Dealing with teenagers positively begins with acceptance. Your child is a young adult trying to figure who he or she is, and what he or she really wants. By allowing your child some elbow room to explore the possibilities, you are raising a teenage daughter or son who is confident and who is not afraid to pursue who he or she wants to become. At this point, you have to learn to step back and take a more supporting role.
2. Avoid judging them.
Positive parenting requires that you set aside your own stereotypes. You have to stop nagging your child about every little thing he or she does — her makeup, his unruly hair, her brash movements or, his sets of friends. Teenagers get tired of being told what to do so, if you want your son or daughter to relate better with you, you have to choose what will irk you.
3. Don’t personalize it.
Parents, including yourself, tend to judge themselves by their children’s attitudes and achievements. You certainly long to be branded as a “good parent” but, the more you do, the more you tend to force your own values on your child. Learning to separate yourself from your child’s every negative action or reaction makes you become less emotional about how he or she responds. One of the most effective parenting styles is learning to detach your emotions when your objective is to correct a bad attitude.
Don’t take every word your child says to heart but, be careful not to dismiss what your child is saying either. You want to be sure that your child is not undergoing teen depression so you want to tune in to your child is saying too so you can immediately spot if there’s a real problem you should be concerned about. Make sure to seek professional help immediately if you think there might be a cause for concern.
4. Notice but don’t react.
This is an extension of the previous tip. You must learn that proper parental guidance need not be loud or reactive. In fact, your child will respect you more if you learned to speak less and listen more. Whenever you react, it’s almost always a negative reaction and that is one of the primary factors that strain the relationship of teenagers and parents.
5. Ignore some bad mood.
Understand that your son or daughter are human beings. They experience emotional highs and lows too — just like you. Many times, if your child brings on a bad attitude, it’s hardly about you. You must appreciate that your child is just learning to relate to others at this point and handling conflict is far from being his or her forte. Parenting classes will teach you this technique works well on how to deal with a difficult teenager simply because you are not meeting fire with fire. So, cool it!
6. Teach positive behaviour.
You may not realize it but, how you react to your child and his ill behavior also indirectly teaches him or her what is an effective way of managing negative emotions. If you yell, your child will likely yell back at you too. However, when you learn to remain calm, your teenager will learn to calm down too and talk, rather than yell, about his or her issues.
7. Give honest feedback.
Effective parenting also teaches parents to know when to provide feedback. Usually, that’s when your child asks for your opinion, whether directly or indirectly. This is one parenting advice for teenagers that every parent must learn. It’s like when you’re dealing with another adult, you don’t provide feedback just out of an honest motive because your feedback may not be welcome. You must realize that the same rule should apply to your child.
Raising a teenage daughter in today’s world provides all sorts of new challenges that your own mother probably would not be able to provide you with effective advise as to how to deal with it. Parenting a teenager with mental illness can be even tougher, for which you will also probably require professional help. When your motive for parenting stems from love for your child, you can do what it takes to build a better relationship with him or her. Do not be afraid to love your child more when times get rough.