Nobody will argue that fact that parenting will have to be one of the most difficult roles any adult can play in this lifetime. There’s absolutely no reason why not because parents, like you, are challenged to raise young people to become responsible, respectable and successful adults. The chaotic timing of parenting, however — right smack in the midst of middle age when you are compelled to provide economically for your own family and required to care for aging parents — can easily and literally drive you nuts most days.
While nurturing your children comes naturally, parenting is definitely an area where everybody can use some training and a few insider notes to learn the tricks of the trade. Read through to learn about 8 positive parenting tips that will help you get a better control over the little (and not so little) people you love the most — your children.
8 C’s of parenting
Listed below are 8 ways you can show how you love and care for your children regardless of whether you are having a good or bad day:
1. Choices. This is a key ingredient for the proper upbringing of children and their development. Teaching your kids how to weigh their options, make decisions, and live with the consequences of their actions early on will help them develop a critical mind. At an early age, choices and consequences activities for children in the form of game and play will help your children understand these concepts.
As your children become older, you should give them more space to make their own choices — from selecting their own clothes to choosing their friends to having a freehand at which career they would like to pursue. Parenting in the area of making choices requires you to observe and know when your children are ready to take on more responsibilities in terms of making their own decisions.
2. Conciseness. Among the more important pointers, this item often gets left out from good parenting tips lists. You should not only be able to express that you are upset or disappointed in a calm manner but also help your child understand why being tight and concise. A good parenting practice is to process your thoughts and emotions, as the time and situation permits, before you act or speak out your feelings and ideas to your child.
3. Clarity. Practice to be clear and to-the-point when you’re teaching your child a lesson. Stick to the issue at hand and refrain from deviating the focus of your conversation to some offensive act your child has done a year ago or, an irresponsible act he or she committed the week before. Talk about the present situation only and the possible consequences of what was said or done. Make sure that your child understands these and that you are making him or her live with the consequences. When there are better options, explain and leave your child to decide.
4. Consequences. All of the C’s above are linked to consequences. As early as possible, you have to make your child understand that everything he or she says and does, and all the decisions that he or she makes will have consequences. You can teach that through discipline.
Decide on consequences for disrespectful child based on your child’s age. Toddlers and younger children may be taught the concept of consequence by giving them timeouts and keeping them from playing with their toys. These consequences may not be appropriate for older children and teenagers but, grounding them for several days and confiscating their devices will.
5. Consistency. Consistency is a great way to reinforce good and bad, desirable and undesirable behaviors. It goes without saying that your children will have different personalities. They will be stimulated by different people and experiences which will make them have very different characters and sets of values, regardless if you’re raising them in the same way. So, while being consistent with your children about basic house rules such as what time they should be home or, no sleepovers on school nights, you should make some allowances that still won’t compromise you from being consistent and lose your children’s trust and respect.
6. Compassion. Parenting is not all cheers and fun. Experienced parents know that it also entails a lot of heartbreaks and painful conflicts with their own children. It takes a lot of sacrifices but also calls for forgiveness and asking for forgiveness. Practicing calming techniques is a requirement for you to become more compassionate towards your own children. Understand always that they do not see and understand the world in the same way you do so that despite their faults and making you feel disappointed, you are there to show them that you love them and care about what they do to themselves.
7. Calmness. If you feel that you need some coaching on how to be more calm towards your children, you shouldn’t be ashamed to seek some training. Learning to be calm will dramatically change your relationship with your children now and in the years to come.
8. Confidence. Don’t settle for just good enough parenting because you are too good to be providing only for the basic needs of your children. It takes a confident parent to rub off the same brand of confidence to the children so, stop doubting yourself or, your children will not think you have their best interest in mind. By being confident in what you say, do and teach them, your children believe in what you say and are more likely to take your guidance. Being confident inevitably drives consistency — it shows your children that you know what you’re talking about — which teaches them to put their trust in you. Make them feel that their parents know best.
By teaching your children discipline, responsibility and decision-making, and by reinforcing the values you want to imbibe in them, you are teaching them to become their own persons, to develop their own individuality, and to become survivors in the future. In the end, you have to understand that your children, despite their age, are constantly making their own decisions too – that includes whether or not they should be listening to what you are saying to them at all.