It’s natural for most women to have their own secrets. It’s the way they hide their mysteries even when they are married. Just like thoughts, desires, and freedom, secrets appear to be a part of the things that we all have. There comes a time when we don’t need to share our past experiences in life. Instead of sharing everything, we simply decide to keep our mouths shut. However, people in relationships find it hard to keep some secrets with themselves. Here are some things that couples who keep secrets should expect.
Keeping some secrets when in a relationship can lead to a breakup. Imagine spending the rest of your life with someone that you love but yet there are some things you are not willing to share. Many people keep secrets with good intentions, like not telling your boyfriend that he doesn’t look appealing in certain outfits. You are forgetting that even the road to hell is trudged with good intentions. Keeping things to yourself might sound right, but the truth is hat secrets pile up. Sooner or later, they will spill over and crash your relationship.
Even the smallest secrets and lies can potentially weaken your relationship bond. If you try to figure out what your partner lied or didn’t tell you, it can affect the way you perceive them. You clearly understand that they can lie to you, and therefore you will keep trying to dig deeper to find the truth. You will also keep wondering whether every word that comes from their mouth is true or false.
The best thing to do is just to tell the truth if you don’t want it to haunt you for the rest of your life. If you can’t share secrets with the person you are dating, it can be hard to love them enough and build a lasting relationship. Your guilt will always be overweighed by the truth.
Lack Of Honesty And Acceptance
To build a lasting relationship, you should practice radical honesty and acceptance. In reference to Andrea Miller, author of Radical Acceptance and CEO of Your Tango, accepting someone radically entails expressing genuine love right here and right now. Be supportive irrespective of the circumstances that you are facing. Admit you know their weaknesses, flaws, and shortcomings but insist that you love them. Rather than resisting or resenting them, try to extend your tenderness to those weaknesses.
If you are not ready to admit the truth, which is strong enough to wreck your bond, then there was no need of saving your relationship in the first place. A secret is a poison to genuine love. As tiny droplets of this venom accumulate, they can eventually lead to destruction.
Keeping secrets prepares you for a major fall. It is like pride which comes before a big fall. There are times when you keep secrets because you want to preserve yourself from the possibility of an end. You want to cover up by not disclosing your ugliest parts of your past. This is like planning for the worst which will inevitably lead to a breakup, while there are better ways, according to Miller. You pay everything for the secrets you keep.
Keeping secrets makes you vulnerable to allow someone access everything about you. You are susceptible to danger in the event your relationship comes to an end. It is like you are equipping that someone you love with weapons of mass destruction. You are turning your trust into a fault.
If you can’t trust the person you are within a relationship with everything, then there is no need of wasting your time. It is better to move on if you doubt yourself and knows that the person doesn’t accept and love you unconditionally.
Genuine and everlasting love calls for unchanging commitment. Coupled with radical acceptance, the way you commit to your partner and your relationship should be unwavering for the sake of maintaining the bond.
There should be no questions when it comes to how much you love your partner. You should be ready to stay committed for a lifetime, or just drop it if you are doubtful. Love entails making it or breaking it!
According to Miller, commitment entails everything including your words, thoughts, actions, and intentions. To communicate and achieve this commitment, all should be properly aligned. All your actions should be oriented to your relationship goals. This simply means you have to let go all your secrets.
Though it is a horrific step to take, it is the right move with a potential partner.
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For a relationship to succeed, couples should share even their tiniest secrets. Honesty should be the main focal point. If you are not ready to share your secrets with the person you love the most, be ready for a breakup. It may be sooner or later!