Breakups are hard, especially if you have dedicated a considerable amount of your life to that person. You end up feeling hurt, depressed and anxious about the future. While it is normal to go through a grieving period, it is highly important to work out your issues and see life from a healthy perspective all over again. One of the essential things that you need to do is begin paying attention to limiting beliefs; these can actually hold you back, preventing you from getting over your ex. Do not become comfortable with these beliefs, otherwise the grieving period might be extended undeterminably.
#1 We Were Soul Mates
Many people believe that they were meant to spend their lives with a specific person. That special someone is actually their soul mate, being perfect from beginning to end. But what happens when the relationship ends? You might be tempted to say that you were kindred spirits and you will never find someone to love like that again. This is a limit belief and, unfortunately, it has very little to do with real life. It is more the kind of thing you see in romantic movies, which often create an unreal image about what relationships should be like.
Yes, it would be great if we all were in relationships with our soul mates, enjoying that much-desired happy ending. But, in reality, not all relationships are meant to reach this point and we rarely end up with our real soul mates. Also, you should never make the mistake of thinking that there is only one person out there who is your kindred spirit. Once a relationship has ended, allow yourself a short amount of time to grieve and then seek out new people. Who knows? Your real soul mate might be closer to you than you might think.
#2 I Was At Fault, Not Him/Her
When a relationship ends, the majority of us spend a generous amount of time reviewing what went wrong. It is quite difficult to look at matters from an objective perspective, especially since you are hurting. For this reason, you might be tempted to consider yourself the only person at fault. You probably feel guilty about how things turned out, considering that you have actually pushed your partner away. Moreover, you might have genuine difficulties getting over these feelings of guilt.
The most important thing that you have to remember is that each relationship involves two people, including when it comes to the actual breakup. So, you see, you couldn’t have been the only one at fault. Sure, sometimes one partner is more to blame than the other. But the lack of communication is just as big a mistake, as lying or even cheating. Your partner should have met you half way, discussing about the negative issues in your relationship. You need to stop feeling guilty, as this is not beneficial at all. Guilt will not bring your partner back, no matter how much time you spend obsessing over the smallest details. Use this period in your life to grow as a person, so that you will be a better partner in the future.
#3 We Still Love Each Other
Once again, Hollywood movies have created this fake image, in which love conquers all. Surely, it is possible to still love each other but this does not mean you should remain in that relationship, especially if you are unhappy all the time. In many relationships, the partners share mutual feelings of love but their lives become completely different. In this situation, it is for the best to part ways, rather than live in a forced relationship. And you should never pay attention to friends and family members, who are insisting the two of you should remain together.
Love is indeed one of the greatest feelings we have the opportunity to experience. But it is never enough. Moreover, there are a lot of people who end up in relationships they are not satisfied with, just because of love. It is far better to acknowledge the real state of relationship and not let love become the determining factor. Pay attention to the way you feel in general and the quality of the relationship. Love cannot save a relationship, no matter how much you might want it to. Remember, a relationship should feel great all the way, not only when it comes to the romantic aspects.
While it is true that it is hard to overcome these limiting beliefs, you should know that it is not impossible. It is amazingly difficult to go through a breakup, feeling depleted of energy and constantly wondering what went wrong. A different approach can help you recover from such a breakup; concentrate on the things that are good in your life, spend more time with your friends and think about the future, rather than the past. Consider the recovery period as a time for personal growth and fight to develop new habits, avoiding common mistakes, such as calling your ex, looking at his/her social media etc.