If you are in a relationship, then you probably know how much it matters to have someone to hold and to love. However, when you decide to share your life with another person, do not expect for things to be perfect. It can happen that you find yourself in a relationship that is anything but healthy. This is often seen in couples who fight to gain control over one another, always trying to impose their point of view. What you need to do is learn to recognize the signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship and work on making things better, before it is too late.
#1 Constant & Hurtful Fighting
All couples fight, the reasons that lead to the actual fight being more diverse than you might imagine. However, when you engage in constant fighting, wanting to hurt your partner, this means that something is wrong. A healthy relationship is all about stability; it should be much more defined by feelings of calmness and peacefulness, rather than by fighting.
If you thrive from fighting, you need to get to the root of the problem and identify the things that actually make you feel angry. Talk openly to your partner and avoid raising your voice or placing the blame on his/her. Remember, you are both in this relationship and solutions can be found, as long as you stop fighting and communicate in an open manner.
#2 Reduced Relationship Satisfaction
Love is what makes a relationship feel amazing, but it is not enough. Often times, partners are not completely satisfied with their relationship; instead of talking to their partners about the way they feel, they try to compensate with other activities. For example, a person who is not satisfied with the relationship he/she is currently in, will often go out on his/her own or engage in activities that exclude the partner.
Excluding the partner from certain activities is not a healthy way to deal with relationship problems. This will only lead to frustration on behalf of your partner and make him/her question the relationship even more. Also, it is not healthy to seek out compensation for the lack of satisfaction in your relationship. It is for the best to talk to your partner about the way he/she makes you feel; present openly the things you are not satisfied about and try to come up with solutions to improve your relationship together.
#3 High Levels Of Stress
While it is true that a relationship is often about compromises, this does not mean you should sacrifice yourself and be miserable all the time. If your relationship leads to high levels of stress, this means that there are certain things that should be discussed out in the open.
You need to talk about triggers and situations of conflict, no matter how uncomfortable this might make you feel. In the end, the purpose of a relationship is to bring you into a state of relaxation; if you feel stressed, it is highly likely your partner will feel the same and that is not healthy at all.
#4 Verbal And Physical Abuse
Yes, couples do fight. They also scream, especially when each partner tries to impose his/her point of view. But when things degenerate and verbal abuse becomes a common issue, this means that the relationship is far from healthy. Verbal abuse is more damaging for a relationship than you might think, especially when used in a moment of vulnerability.
The biggest mistake is to respond to the verbal abuse. Instead, you should be concentrating on finding solutions to bring communication down to a normal, open level. Always remember that a person who is verbally abusive can quickly turn into someone who will also resort to physical abuse. If the situation gets out of hand, this is a clear sign you need to put an end to that relationship.
Avoidance can present itself in many forms, especially when the relationship has gone really bad. You might avoid confronting your partner directly, shy away from discussing things that are important or even feel awkward when other people ask you about him/her.
The first thing that you need to ask yourself is why you have resorted to such behavior. You should also build up the courage to confront your partner about the state of your relationship, seeking out ways to improve it together. Always work together, because a relationship involves two people and you should never feel alone while being with someone.
#6 No Life Outside The Relationship
Perhaps this is one of the most difficult signs to recognize, particularly if a relationship of dependency has been created between you and your partner. If your partner is possessive, this is not a healthy relationship to be in. Possessiveness can take many forms as well, making you give up other relationships. You might stop seeing your friends and even family members, just to make your partner feel comfortable. Once again, this is not healthy. You need to have a life outside your relationship, in order to appreciate the time you spend together even more.
Relationships take a lot of work and you need to be aware of this for a fact. Do not wait until you are in that point of your relationship when nothing can be done. Try to discuss openly with your partner about the things that are bothering you and make sure to ask about his/her feelings as well.