Despite the fact that people say life is easy, happy marriage is a whole science. We usually find it out when we take a plunge into a married life. Unfortunately, many couples can’t achieve harmony and mutual understanding in their marriages. They often reach an impasse, because they wholeheartedly believe that married life consists only of love, happy moments, satisfaction, pleasant emotions, and surprises. It’s necessary to realize that happy marriage is impossible without responsibility, commitment, compromises, crises, forgiveness, heart-to-heart conversations and sacrifices. Marriage shouldn’t be associated with negativity. Every time you face a marriage crisis, you should remember the things mentioned in this article. These wise thoughts are like a prayer. They’ll give you the answers to many complicated questions and help you make right decisions.
1. Marriage should bring pleasure and happiness
Life is a wonderful thing, but it becomes better when you find someone to share its beautiful moments with. Don’t believe those unhappy people, who say that marriage is a kind of a voluntary servitude that turns life into torture. Their negative experience shouldn’t cloud your mind and judgment. Your spouse is the person you can’t live without and you stand a good chance to become as happy as lovebirds. Your marriage will certainly bring pleasure, if you don’t forget to make love, fool around, make surprises, watch films, travel and experience new emotions.
2. Don’t run away from challenge and never back down
Running away from problems is a negative habit that can significantly complicate life, especially if you’re a married person. I understand that sometimes it’s unbelievably difficult to suppress emotions, leave the comfort zone and resist the quenchless urge to unburden the mind, give up everything and run as far as the eye can see, but you should learn to pace yourself. Both you and your spouse are mature personalities, who should once and for all get rid of the habits of running to extremes and following the path of least resistance. You’ll find it difficult to hide from your family responsibilities and get away with it. If you don’t know how to behave in one situation or another, you’d better take a break to let off steam and think things through.
3. Don’t be in a rush to have kids
Many young parents, who decided to get pregnant right after the wedding, advise newlyweds to always think three steps ahead. They say that such important decision shouldn’t be made in a hasty manner. This event turns the life of young parents upside down and puts a big responsibility on their shoulders. If time allows and you feel that you’re not morally ready for fundamental change, you’d better hold off on having kids for a while. You should travel while young, learn to navigate the waters between each other and strengthen your relationship. A few years of carefree and pleasant life will fill your hearts with positive moments and prepare you for the continuation of the family name.
4. No marriage is perfect
Today more and more people are trying to win over their fears, get rid of stereotypes and become resistant to public opinion. They overcome numerous psychological barriers to create the life they want. Why not take the same path? If the marriage built according to the traditional pattern, doesn’t make you happy, you’re free to replace annoying old school rules by new ones and shape your marriage in your image. It doesn’t matter what roles or functions you fulfill and what people say about it. You’ll don’t mind everything, as long as you realize it and become happy.
5. Family issues should be kept secret
We often hear that sharing secret and talking problems out are effective and soul-healing techniques that help people release negative feelings and reach a rapid solution. But it’s not really that straight forward because the hearts and intentions of people around aren’t always pure. In most cases, sharing family secrets and attendance of third parties only reignite the flame of the conflict, intensify the problem, give birth to gossip and help your family enemies discover your vulnerabilities. The best solution is to say the others that you’re ok, but solve your family issues with psychologists. These personalities aren’t interested in leading you up the garden. Plus, they’re obliged to keep the information you share absolutely confidential.
6. Use words wisely and correctly
A Happy marriage requires spouses to do everything sensibly. Special attention should be given to the process of communication because the family atmosphere and prosperity depend on what we say and do. Sometimes it’s necessary to sort out the relationship and discuss unpleasant things. But every time, you’re going to deliver a painful truth or criticize your significant other, you should analyze everything and try to understand whether your spouse will find it useful or not. If these words will only hurt them badly and violate their dignity, you’d better leave this truth unsaid. It’s not a step back or a sign of weakness. This wise behavior will help you keep your marriage healthy.
7. You’re kindred spirits
Whatever happens in your married life, both you and your spouse should demonstrate maximum prudence and keep in mind that you’re not rivals, aggressors or victims. You’re loved ones and kindred spirits who should support each other in moral and material terms, no matter who’s right and who’s wrong. Instead of arguing, forcing the views on each other and validating through the achievements of the partner, it’s better to have each other’s backs at all times, show respect, spend more time together, joke and be on the same wave. It may sound banal, but these small actions will prove you that the connection between you is unbelievably strong.
Whether we want it or not, but almost all of us will go through various crises throughout the marriage. The success of this union will depend on your decisions, actions, and choices. I hope the tips mentioned in the article will help you avoid mistakes and make your marriage stable, strong and problem-free.